Life in Lewes
These have been the strangest and the loneliest months of my life.
I cannot write about it.
Suffice to say I have been living on my own in a flat in Lewes and trying to make the most of my life, and finding the going tough.
It has been a time of reflection.
I have lived in Lewes for 10 years; I love the town but, I am afraid, it has not been a lucky or a particularly happy place for me.
Some nights I feel so intensely sad.
Now I am on St Nicholas Lane, smack-bang in the centre of the town, and yet it is so incredibly quiet.
No traffic sound, no overhead flights, no passers-by. It feels like a spot the centre has forgotten.
Sometimes I feel I am in hiding in this flat. My secret bolthole.
I don't really know what to do or say any more. It has become so very difficult.
Of course life goes on.
Sunset at Earwig Corner is of great beauty, even in the winter months.
On the South Downs, the grass glows at dusk.
At St Thomas a Becket's, I listen to George's words of a Sunday.
During the week I read, and I listen to music.
Sometimes, I see the Angel of Hove and have a cuppa.
Or a passing biker with his missus and begoggled dog.
It is day after day.
I look on the bright side, if I can, but my star is low in the sky.